Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(859): View more from Kentucky

Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here

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(303): View more from Colorado

Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.

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(703): View more from Virginia

I've been living off of popsicles and broth.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm a pro at the other 9-5

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(217): View more from Illinois

I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?

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(406): View more from Montana

I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself

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(425): View more from Washington

I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it

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(334): View more from Alabama

A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.

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(516): View more from New York

Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."

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