I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
