It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
