No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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