That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Randomize
