You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
The best revenge is premature balding
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
