Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
