just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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