Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
