I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
