Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
