it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
