I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Randomize
