Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
