I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
cat food counts as protein by the way
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
