Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Randomize
