the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
