Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
