i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Who died my cat blue again?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
