Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Randomize
