i think my tv is drunk
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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