I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Randomize
