it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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