im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
