I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Someone shattered a urinal.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
