My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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