i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
