I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
