My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
