Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
