how hairy? two words: wookie tits
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Randomize
