The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
