Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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