**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
