did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
