if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
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