I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
