you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
