I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
