someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Randomize
