she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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