is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
