we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
