sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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