I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
