I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
