I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
