She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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