Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
How's work?
Spinning.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
