holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
