Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
