I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
