no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
