You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
