she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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