"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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