Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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